To Blake Or Not To Blake, Did I Just Sober Socialise?

The Sober Curious Movement is having a moment and, despite the hideous name, I gave it a go this month.

I decided – based on nothing more than smugness, a competitive spirit (and having never met a pop culture, zeitgeisty trend that I didn’t want in on) to forsake drinking for a month. Now, please know in advance that I am neither a big drinker – but I do enjoy a ravishing Chardonnay – nor a non-drinker, because I do enjoy a ravishing Chardonnay. Know also that I have never considered a Dry January or Oc-sober in my life. Also, I have never deliberately done something that could knowingly leave me so utterly crestfallen at the start of every weekend. So there we have it. One high summer holiday spent turning my water into (rosé) wine and a Modern Wellness deadline later and I was amped for a month of sparkling water.

I include Modern Wellness into this decision-making because I’ve been reading and writing so much about the sober curious movement for this issue. It is an odious term at best. It makes the whole idea sound so, tentative, first of all, and also sooooo wanky. I wasn’t really curious about being sober, like a kitten sniffing around its new garden patch, nor did I think I was embarking on some grand movement where women before me have marched and conquered. Urgh. Hating it already.

I did, however, like that those who the trend-hunters call The Younger Generation are, according to recent global reports, rejecting bars and what is becoming known as toxic socialising for healthier, everyday places. My entire varsity career – not to mention, my Career Career, was based on toxic socialising. Only I didn’t think it was toxic at all. It was an enormous amount of fun, helped ably along by noisy, young bands like Instant Karma playing at Sweeney Todd’s in Braamfontein and ladies’ night at Caesar’s Palace where faux Chippendales whipped off their kit for us eye-rolling gals. Was it terribly PC? Oof, no. Did anyone have a camera? Again, not a chance. So did anyone mind that we were toxically socialising? Hell no, they didn’t.

I can see that there are loads of good reasons why ‘damp lifestyle’, ‘sober curious’ and ‘mindful drinking’ are buzzing with millions of posts on TikTok and gracing so many 2023 wellness trend lists. Global studies—from the US to the UK — show that fewer people are drinking overall and that Gen Z is the most sober generation ever.

Plus, I love an A-lister who’s leading the charge. Nineties socialising meant Kate Moss and her Nottinghill Pack - it included cigarettes and Vivienne Westwood pirate boots. Today, it is Blake Lively who lights the way. She is continually perky, bouncy-haired and dewy and never touches a drop of booze. And she accessorises like a fashion goddess, which has nothing to do with her lifestyle choices but bears mentioning.

I know she probably has lots of other reasons for glowing, not least of which is husband, Ryan The Most Gorgeous Reynolds, plus her line of non-alc seltzers. Just to make a little side hustle from her healthy life choices. But I thought: do as Blake. It is a genius way to feel gorgeous of bod, smug of mind and un-toxed of spirit!

I expected eyes shining brighter than the sun (a la creepy Bonnie Tyler music vid buuut you get my drift, bright eyes) and skin so juicy Madonna would’ve wept like a virgin. I expected to have my jeans pool around my ankles if I jumped for joy, so svelte would my rosé-free bod be. Alas, dear readers. I feel exactly the forking same. Eyes, skin, hair, body, same. Except it is so terribly dull, not to gossip with girlfriends over a glass of wine. Or toast our success with champers. This makes it sounds like we’re a drinking culture – and yes, we are.

So what’s my take-out? Blake Lively, I am not. But, urgh dammit, I do feel good. I like the idea of mindful drinking, if not the whole sober curious malarkey. So, I think that’s where I find myself. Somewhere in the middle. Have any of you tried Dry January (Dry February for me!) or going booze-free? Is it something you’d like to try? I am so, erm, curious. Please drop a comment. I’d love to hear from you. Or, alternatively, you can drop me a wine recommendation, if you can’t bear the thought! I’m open to both.