Work Life? Its Just Like An A-List Press Tour
My brief spin through office life as told via the Dune 2 press tour, because work is work, right? Even if you're an A-lister...
I’ve had the best week … For those of you who are wondering what Office Life looks like? It looks like it always did and it is great. For those of you who are wondering why on Earth you need to go into the office at all? Apologies! Introverts are likely to recoil in horror when I say this, but having casual conversations with people never met, bumping into ex-colleagues not seen for years, spotting young talent typing away furiously behind screens and then racing off in a gaggle for the coffee machines? Well, it’s all so nostalgic and wonderful. And I’d forgotten.
I worked as journalist for five years before I joined a media HQ that served up filter coffee – drip pots on the go, all day. The luxury! It was the most social, cheering, venty-while-also-being-upwardly-mobile moment of my day… Venty because you might be getting a brew while bitching about your boss – one of Work Life’s biggest highlights, surely. Upwardly mobile because a coffee machine is the great equalizer - used by juniors and bosses alike, and you might just find yourself standing there shooting the shit with someone way higher up the food chain than you. Cheering because a good coffee with your work bestie when you didn’t pay for it and didn’t need to make a plan to see them is another of Young Work Life’s greatest hits.
Yes, commuting is painful. Painful. And so are the logistics. My punks are older now, but the juggle of childcare and office hours would make even a Heathrow air traffic controller sweat. Then there’s wearing a bra every single day. Torture. And having your game face on. And not staying in Birks and socks.
But to be part of a work society in an organic, effortless way – no Zooms, WhatsApp chats, Trello boards, Teams check-ins – allows the world to work like it would if you were meeting someone you fancied in a bar rather on Tinder. There’s endless possibility for things to go right or wrong. For things to surprise you. For the day to turn out very differently to how you imagined it. For you to learn something new, try something new, be someone new. Which already sounds exhausting, I knowwwwwww. I know. So maybe not every day!
Maybe Work Life should be like celebrity press tours - and haven’t there been a slew of those at the mo’. You get all gussied up in body, mind and soul for certain days, organise your entire life around these Big Days Out, head off and kick arse and then - in between - you get to recover, wear your comfiest leggings and do the work in solitude, before you do it all again. In the spirit of “ohh, celebrities, they’re just like us”, here’s the office edish…
The Team Players aka Zendaya & Margot Robbie
When Margot Robbie hit the Barbie press tour circuit, her stylist brilliantly took inspiration from decades’ worth of Barbies. Actual Barbies. She wore designer lewks that echoed the vintage outfits from iconic Barbies over the years. And this is now A Thing… The Dune 2 roll-out has kicked off and Zendaya… Sweet cheeses, Zendaya, she is doing the most when a paper bag would have sufficed. Ever a chic gal, her stylist (out of retirement for her and her alone – okay, and also Celine Dion for a brief Grammys moment, Law Roach) has snagged the most legendary pieces of archival fashion… For the world premier of the film last week, she wore Thierry Mugler’s 1995 robot - a look so iconic that when it first showed 30 years ago, it became the moment that encapsulated the dawn of the Internet. She continues to shimmer and shine and clank and shimmy her way across the globe. There’s still more to come…
The Why Are We Still Here aka Dakota Johnson
While Margot and Zendaya are doing the most for their KPAs, Dakota Johnson is doing only that which is expressly required. She ain’t whooping it up for any company-wide bowling alley fun day. And she’s not rating the office a full-score 10 in her HR engagement survey either. She’s press touring for Madame Web - a film the critic at The Times UK describes hilariously thus:
“To say that Johnson phoned in her performance would be an insult to Alexander Graham Bell.” I am still laughing - A) AI could never and B) haven’t we all worked with someone like this…
She steps out looking like a million dollars of bedazzled web - yes, there’s the on-theme designer duds again - but you’re not sure she actually likes her job at all. She is laconic, dry as a Bond martini and, I guess, well she can be… Dakota, child of Melanie Griffiths and Don Johnson and long-time lover of Chris Martin, is a platinum-grade nepo baby. She never comes across as snobby, just mildly bemused, amused and never-ever-on-script. You just know there’s a PR person slapping her hand to her eyes as she bangs out honest answers to press interview questions, like…
How is Hollywood? “Fucking bleak right now.”
Does the film exist outside the Spiderverse? “You don’t need to know anything about anything at all to watch this movie.”
And then there are the viral moments - her telling Ellen Degeneres that she’s lying - deadpan - and telling Jimmy Fallon to stop interrupting her - ditto. Anyway, I love her and you know you know this person.
The Let’s Have Fun Anyway aka Barry Keoghan
If Dakota can’t wait for 5pm, then Cillian Murphy is right alongside her as they grab their door tags and make a run for the lifts. You know who’s having fun though, regardless? Barry Keoghan. In fact, has anyone had more fun of a press tour than Barry Keoghan? I am not sure it’s possible. His stylist is ace - Ilaria Urbinati - and he clearly trusts her, so he looks insanely good and a li’l edgy every single time he steps out. Plus, he’s flirting with everyone - from his costar Jacob Elordi - ain’t that a bromance we can all get behind? - to his costars on Men Of The Air - ditto. And then there are the soundbites, laughs, dimples, the furious blushing. I mean, he is gold! He is openly, joyously loving every minute of the attention. He didn’t know it was going to be his year, but now that it is - bring it on. Love his whole vibe although he’s probably a liability at the Christmas party!
The Work Besties aka Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal
It’s fair to say that David Tennant and Michael Sheen walked so that Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal could run. These two glorious bastards are starring in a film together and the combined hotness is incinerating interview couches and red carpet hosts across the globe. Stop the lights. The pair of them are so clearly enjoying themselves and each other’s company that regardless of the question or the outing, it is just impossible to tear your eyes away. They are chemistry personified. Joined at the hip, laughing at their own jokes, giving each other the odd side eye. Again, you know - you know - who that person is…. And you know you’re sending them eye-roll emojis throughout the workday, tagging them in every funny workplace meme that pops up and dragging them out of the building with you when you leave for the day!
So, which one are you? And are you ready for the Oscars aka the Staff Internal Awards Night where everyone gets beautifully dressed, tries to cheer on their less fun colleagues when they beat out the besties and generally keep a game face on til the night ends… I’m ready! And, by the way, I am a combo of all of the above. Which you’d probably know if you’ve every worked with me, for me, around me or vented at any of the repsetive coffee pots over the years. Right! Back to my sweats then…