The Week Where Both Kanye & Carrie Resurfaced
Fashion was on top form this week, but what can any of us Mere Mortals actually do with any of it?
This week the world was divided into three types of people – those who think Kanye is right; those who think Kanye is wrong and those who have absolutely no idea that Kanye was even up to anything. At all. So, which one are you? And PS, this truly GREAT Tommy Ton pic, above, is from Kanye’s first Paris Fashion Week disruption back in 2009.
Quick refresher: Kanye West, who you might know as a cultural icon, a music star, a fashion designer, Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband (or all of the above) popped up at Paris Fashion Week and set the world on fire. By trudging through sewerage on the Balenciaga catwalk? No, you ninnies, after that. After that, in a guerilla move, he staged a show. Kind of. Wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with ‘White Lives Matter’. Now, hang on just a damn sec. Did this mean he was calling out white folk? Did this mean he was calling out the Black Lives Matter movement? Was he being irresponsible? Responsible? Contradictory? Inciting? What. Did. It. All. Mean? Did Balenciaga know? Did Adidas know? Did Gap know? Did Kim KNOW? Cue screaming as your tiny mind explodes at the futility of it all.
Anyway, the fashion world and the Internet went bananas (which is what Gwen Stefani would say and she just turned 53 so she knows shit). And it also managed to upstage what was already a tres upstagey week of fashion – see spray-on 3-D dress, above, that was designed on stage at Coperni and Vic Beckham bringing her whole family and her A-list besties across the Channel. Anyway, I don’t care too much for Ye, but you cannot deny that the man knows how to cause A Scene. Which causes More Scenes. Which keeps everyone talking. He might even surpass Kris Jenner in Epic Scene Stealing. He also described Kim this week as “a hybrid Marina Ambramovic, Marilyn Monroe and Hillary Clinton,” so you know Ye has a great sense of humour too.
I used to love fashion week more for the street style than the catwalk, but then most of the designers took over dressing everyone who attended their shows properly and it became gorgeous, yes, but way less fun. Until this week when Kylie Jenner – I’m sticking with a theme here – stepped out in her tighty whities and a pair of stockings. I know, I know you think I am exaggerating the fashun, but look… Tank, tighty whites, tighty tights, coat. Who’s going to try this look? I know if Grazia were still going, we’d be making some unsuspecting intern head out to Sandton City in this lewk to write a piece. Alas. Cape Town’s coffee scene is probably not ready for me.
To file under: Other Fashion I Probs (never say never) Won’t Be Wearing, the first pics of And Just Like That (which I have to qualify is the Sex And The City reboot because the name is so daft I can never remember it). Carrie is spotted in a boiler suit, Fendi ankle bag and designer pigeon. No, I am not playing a word game where you pluck three random thoughts from the air and turn them into an outfit. So, like obvs, I am ready for the next season because who wouldn’t want to watch someone attempt to pay for their flat white by either unstrapping their mini bag from underneath their boiler-suited ankle or unclipping the beak of their pigeon. I am still not joking.
If middle-aged women having an identity crisis in really good clothes floats your boat – it floats mine, I am not judging! – then you’re probably old enough to be one of the many readers who messaged me last week to say: tell me about that Prai decolletage cream you wrote about? Standing up for The Uncreased Cleavage, I am.
So, in an effort to share more hits of beauty joy, please also welcome the arrival of Foreo to South Africa. Foreo is a super sustainable, high-tech Swedish beauty brand that makes facial cleansers and massagers. Which doesn’t sounds like it would be the ultimate beauty tool. And yet… This whizz bang little rechargeable tool (although it needs recharging only once a year according to the website) is to be used after you’ve applied your cleanser. Its connected by Bluetooth to an app which is how you time the length of your session. Its meant to deep cleanse – what it does is revitalize and smooth skin, sloughing off impurities and ensuring your lil face is glowing. Literally glowing. I vouch. They’re not cheap, so put it on your Christmas wish list if you’re not saving up the R16 000 for JW Anderson’s pigeon.
And if you really feel like taking the piss out of fashun, do yourself a glorious fave and check out Angelica Hicks – this Insta smartie takes household items to turn them into celeb or runway fashion lewks with truly hilarious and utterly brilliant results. Find her here - she is a genius. Coperni should probably hire her for next season’s show.