The Most Annoying Phrase Gets Its Moment

This is a piece about fashion, not a piece about grammar, despite its curmudgeonly headline. Read on...

I have a new bugbear. Say what now, someone gasps? A woman striding towards menopause and mid-life is annoyed by something?! That cannot possibly be right. That must be a first. Only, it is right, dear readers. And it is as trivial as you should have come to expect.

It is the use of the word gate-keeping. Fuck. My. Life. I know, I know. I am writing it out loud. I am not saying ‘fork’ and I didn’t even try my luck with ‘FML’. No. So annoying is this stupid phrase that I am writing out ‘fork’ in its original French. Gate-keeping for my non-social media savvy chommies is fast on track to surpass the word ‘shenanigans’ in my Lexicon Of Ire. For different reasons.

Shenanigans is a word I loved. My mother used it a lot. She loved a Victorian turn of phrase. She also used to dolefully lament when “she had the morbs” which social media has since told me is a marvellously Victorian phrase for having a bad day. Which I knew. But I didn’t know it was so antediluvian. Even more ancient that my dear mama, she would defs have relished telling me.

Anyway, shenanigans sat there, alongside ragamuffins and ‘having the morbs’. And then social media ruined it - and every broski was getting up to shenanigans with his homies on a Saturday night. This gave me the morbs.

Now along comes gate-keeping, a forking stupid word told ALWAYS – and this is essential – with built-in sanctimony for ‘not being one of those girls’. You know, The Ones Who Gate-Keep. Gate-keeping means not telling people where you got your goods. In the old days when someone in 1992 would’ve exclaimed:  “Ooooh, Pippa, I love your dress!” and Pips would’ve replied one of three ways.

1) “ooh thanks, I got it from Nine Big Boys”

2) “ooh thanks, this old thing”

3) “oh thanks”

Well, options 2) and 3) mean you are A Gate-Keeper and thus officially likely to be a bit of biatch. Because nice girls share and don’t gate-keep. Urgh, of course they do. That’s the point. Nice girls do share. And we do all still want dresses with pockets and for everyone to be happy because we found them.

But must we really toot the old “I don’t gate-keep” horn every time we share a tasty tidbit. We know you actually want to tell us where you got your nice things, so just tell us FFS. Or don’t. It doesn’t matter. What matters is when you tell us you’re not gate-keeping. Like when you tell us that you will be taking a social media break. Nobody cares, babes, nobody.

I hit peak Not Gatekeeping last month when Fairlady asked me for a slew of fashion and style intel for their winter issue and since this issue is about to come off shelf, I’m not gate-keeping the info - and buy the mag for the full piece… I’d describe my personal style as Rock ‘n Roll Workaholic. Does that sounds ridiculous? What it means, in a nutshell, is that I like strong silhouettes and think everything is improved with a good pair of trousers and a blazer – the workaholic part – but I also love colour, leopard print and I never met a metallic shoe I didn’t love -  that’s the rock ‘n roll part.

Read on if you aren’t already appalled with this fashun. It could just be me and Kate Moss who still think this lewk is Peak Cool. But Mossy will be my Forever Style Icon.

Put them together and you get someone who enjoys wearing colour more than head-to-toe black, but needs to be able to run to a meeting without looking like they’re halfway to Afrika Burn. I like to buy pieces that I can hold onto for a long time and I like to support local. TikTok would probably call it girl maths, but if I am supporting some of the incredible local fashion and jewellery brands, then I am also supporting small South African - often female-run - businesses and not just buying fash.

Here's what is getting a lot of wear RN…

Black trousers

As Miranda Priestly would say: ‘ground-breaking’… But a good pair of black trousers will take you everywhere… The drawstring jogger from Hannah Lavery? I am wearing it TO DEATH this winter. I love ankle-skimming cropped trousers because they look good with any shoe. Hannah Lavery is such a good stop for basics - her casual trousers, tees and unstructured midi dresses are beautifully made and neutral in tone.

Cowboy boots

I love cowboy boots. In heavy rotation are a pair of beaten gold ones, a classic short, embossed pair I’ve had for 20 years and a tooled leather pair from Zara. They offer the perfect low heel with tons on attitude. Poetry also has silver ones. Dead.

Statement knits

I hate a scratchy knit, so I love Romaria – a local knitwear brand that does the most gorgeous shapes and prints and they’re not woolly knits, so I can breathe. That’s equal parts a problem of menopause and scratchy wool! Romaria collabs with artists so prints are limited edish. Current collection is with TheUrbanative. Gold Bottom Africa also does a perfect boxy crop with matching oversized scarf that is not a knit but is a hella cosy jersey and obvs the pulled-togetherness (defs a word!) is ramped up by 100 because its a matching set.

The punks love borrowing my jerseys – they are rarely found in my cupboard. Ditto my pairs of Birkenstocks - just wait til you see the new collection; there’s a new colour called Zinfandel which is all kinds of berry deliciousness! - and Adidas trainers. Those Adidas Spezial and Adidas Sambas are impossible to resist, apparently. So are the new SL72, which are even comfier.

Silky jumpsuit

I love jumpsuits – it’s like the one-pot meal of fashion. You’re done in an instant. Dionne Campbell-Young dreams loose-goosey numbers into being in her studio in Tamboerskloof. My fave is equal parts so comfortable and so stylish that I cannot wear it often enough. Its the perfect summer combo with an easy neckline and cuffed sleeves ad pants so you can push up your sleeves and they stay and you can wear with any heel height. Her wintery numbers are more luxe and velvety in nature, with deep pockets and a hood.

Slouchy blazers

I love blazers – a slouchy one where you can push your sleeves up. My sleeves are perennially pushed up – sorry mom. And I love colour – show me something in a hot coral and it must be mine. So the blazers run the gamut from navy, black and white to riotous and wild.

Smallest bag

Used to be a thing that a bag had to carry everything, then it just had to carry your keys, wallet and lipstick. Nowadays, its keys and a phone, so the bag just gets smaller and I am not the only one. All my bags in heavy rotation are cross-body so I am totally hands-free. That, or its an Asha Eleven bumbag. I love theirs because they’re a zero waste fash biz so use the offcuts to make the smaller items in their collection.

What am I missing? What is your go-to fash piece or label? Go on then, no gate-keeping 😏 we’re friends, tell us!