Step Aside, Sad Keanu, Ben Is Here

I love a red carpet almost as much as I love a meme and a celebrity love story. This fateful night, it all came together...

Some weeks you write a newsletter and some weeks you find yourself in the Namibian hinterland with a major digital detox on your hands. You just have to let it be. Well, that’s what I did, so here’s a bonus catch-up that has much to do with Ben Affleck rewarding The Internet with 101 facial expression in the space of a few hours. And not because he is in The Movies. Just because he is Living His Life As J.Lo’s Husband.

But first two pop culture side-tracks… The first is Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and their lurrrrve affair… PDA-packed red carpets, smooching, giggling, cuddling and – the ultimate never-forget moment – Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch during his interview because he was just so madly, crazily in love. Tom’s antics were heard around the world. Until Katie bolted. And not a word was uttered from either of them on the subject ever again.

The second side-track comes in the form of Sad Keanu – the original celebrity meme. A shot of Keanu Reeves minding his own biz, eating a sandwich, on a bench, back in 2010. The early - still somewhat kinder - Internet pondered and then pounced. It spawned bench-mates that included everything from a giant pigeon to a panda and Forrest Gump. It even became its own sad action figure. Sad Keanu was errr’where.

Now that you know all this, you’ll agree that Hollywood is not shy of a bit of OTT acting when it comes to selling A Love Affair to an unsuspecting public. And The Internet does love a chance for a roast. The two came together spectacularly on Sunday night at The Grammy’s when Ben was caught on camera looking like an incredibly bored husband who’d been dragged along to his wife’s work do. Slumped next to arguably one of the most beautiful women in the world - her in shimmering head-to-toe Gucci, him in a ceaseless loop of expressions that tapped bored, annoyed, whiney, slouchy, frowny – all the seven dwarfs. The night wore on. And on.

She looked bloody pissed off when the camera wasn’t obviously zooming in, but kept a beautific smile plastered on her dial the rest of the time. When she wasn’t elbowing him in the ribs and telling him to sit up straight. You can rehearse as many love-filled, perfectly dressed strolls through Manhattan as you like, arms clasped around each other, bundled up against the cold… And five glorious seconds at the Grammy’s is all people want to talk about… TikTok sleuths have lip-read the elbow jab thousands of times already. Newly-manicured Ben (he NOT of the phoenix back tattoo and endless supply of Dunkin venti iced coffees) seems to be rethinking his life choices.

Any other take outs from the night that don’t involve fashun?

Why thank you for asking.

I want to be best friends with Adele and Lizzo. They definitely had more fun than anyone else. About Damn Time!

I want Taylor Swift’s stylist. Navy beaded Roberto Cavalli aside, that accessories game was STRONG. I know she always looks the same. Still.

I want Harry Styles. Sorry, no, wait. That’s wrong. I want Harry Styles. Hang on. Try again. I want Harry Styles’ wardrobe. There ya go! From the spangly silver top under the cropped tuxedo jacket to the jumpsuit of technicolour dreams, sign me up.

You’ll find all the fashion juice over on my Insta - its linked. If you want more intel on Nambia, you’ll find it here too. And if you need a book to read before Friday’s next newsy, find one here.