Dos Anyone Know What 40 Looks Like Anymore?

If I hadn't already lived through it, I'm not sure I'd know the answer either...

I know this should be a week to get into the Met Gala, but it’s already Friday and I just cannot be arsed… The memes have been memed and the red carpet dissected. And I include myself in this. I love ogling the red carpet, but these days I adore watching the red carpet in the same way as I like hearing listener pop quizzes on the radio… Because I simply cannot believe what morons people are and I shriek and flail about at their useless answers to simple questions.

Absolutely gormless red carpet interviewer: “What are you most looking forward to tonight?”

A-lister who can neither breathe nor walk Met Museum stairs unaided: “Catching up with friends.”

My eye roll would do Angela Merkel proud. Girl, you are surrounded by fashion so priceless and so flimsy that many of the garments can never adorn the human form again – hence the exhibit theme, Sleeping Beauties. The Costume Institute will show more than 200 pieces of fashion, spanning four centuries, all connected through the themes of nature. They are works of art.

Tom Ford. Tom Ford answered the question. Bless him and his magnificent jewel of a ruby red velvet tuxedo. Here’s his red carpet snippet - shame, his interviewer just looks dazed at his all-encompassing and impassioned fashion answer. Also looking classically dashing was Nicholas Galitzine, which brings me to the real point of this week’s newsy… The Idea Of You.

Hands up who has watched Anne Hathaway’s new film? The one on Amazon Prime where Anne plays a 40-year-old freshly divorced mom and art gallery owner who falls for a 24-year-old boy-bander. Yes, the book-turned-film is pure fantasy - a Harry Styles-style fan fiction where Harry, I mean Hayes, falls for a hot mom. If you have not watched the film yet, I urge you to stop reading immediately! And watch it.

Full disclosure: I also smashed Baby Reindeer in the same week, but what is there to say about this sensational piece of work other than 😳😳😳

As The Internet giveth, so it takes away. For months it has been gushing over the imminent arrival of The Idea Of You and, no sooner had it released, than a whole gang of busybodies crept out from under their rocks to yell that Anne looks too hot to be 40. Excuse yourself, love! Too hot to be 40?

Anne, by the way, is 41 In Real Life, so playing a 40-year-old is not exactly a stretch. Also worth bearing in mind is that in past Internet Forays she’s also been accused of Not Being Hot Enough. Damned if you do, et cetera et cetera, sigh. And Anne does look smoking hot, mind you. So smoking hot that you might be convinced that you, too, should cut a fringe. I wouldn’t. Resist! So smoking hot that she couldn’t possibly be 40.

What realistically do The People think 40 looks like? I know that when I was in my 20s or – god forbid – any younger, 40 was ancient. I remember my mom turning 40. It was old. I thought her friends had terribly sensible haircuts, that they all drank posh wine and that she wore a navy pants suit. I realise now that this was probably pretty damn butt-kicky and stylish, but at the time, I thought it was Peak Being 40.

Yet, here we are, one generation later and at 40, we are only just figuring out that - with waaaay less forks to give - we’re enjoying our best decade yet. With 50 approaching next year pour moi, I daresay the forks will be even less and the unbridled joy even more. Being Anne’s age means if you’re single and you stumble across a handsome man in a festival trailer, well, dot dot dot.

Just look at Bridget Jones who was 43 when she finally got to Glastonbury in her more grown-up guise by film number three… Met Ed Sheeran, had it off in a teepee with a very handsome stranger in the form of McDreamy and went on living her life. She had friends, a great job, she wasn’t still mooching around wondering if her bum looked big in her white jeans and counting her calories. And neither is Anne Hathaway.

Us Women Of A Certain Age have grown up with Anne Hathaway. When she was getting busy with Nicholas Boybander Galitzine, I wanted to squeal like Phoebe in Friends: “My eyes, my eyes!” The Princess of Genovia would never. Even Andie from The Devil Wears Prada did not. But damn, I’m glad that 40-year-old Annie went for it.

Her character is smart and secure and, yes, scorching hot. She also isn’t the slightest bit ashamed for having desires of her own. Isn’t that what being 40 should be about? Many of us have ticked the children box if we were thinking about becoming parents; we’ve generally got a good career on track without the angst of Devil Wears Prada-era Andie and we’re savvy enough to know ourselves and not feel the crushing insecurities of being younger. As Annie says in the film, she’s grateful for where she is in her life. The absolute joy of this feeling of contentment, am I right?

‘[She’s] a woman capable of making her own decisions, even ones she thinks might be ill-advised — and how weirdly rare it is to see that kind of character in a movie. She has a kid, and friends, and a career. She reads books and looks at art, and she is flattered by this 24-year-old superstar’s attention but takes a long time to come around to the idea that it may not be a joke.’ - New York Times

Since those of us in our 40s are not hysterical at the idea of getting older - because we’ve realised its fucking fantastic over here and good luck to you, Youths - then why are the young and the restless so put out at Annie’s 40 year old hotness. It only makes me want to try harder to be cool at any age. Don’t you agree?

Want a last horrifying-but-nostalgic-but-yikes image (read: proof) of why we might be scarred? Here’s The Golden Girls - Peak TV Viewing from my formative years… Blanche Dubois is a year younger than me in this pic. Oh how I laugh looking at this now. No wonder we all thought Being Forty was absolutely inconceivable.