Choose A Side: Wear Pink Or Make Salad Dressing

Yes, The Internet went mad this week. And that's not even really getting into Kanye West, nor Liz Truss, nor the pigeon...

I know Pantone gets to choose the colour of the year but this year it’s surely The Year Of Being Pink (as opposed to Living Dangerously). First Valentino, then Barbie and Barbiecore and now a week in which both Pierce Brosnan and Julia Roberts stepped out in such gloriously fuschia shades – on different sides of the globe, no less - that I honestly don’t know whether I want a suit or a frock or both or Julia or Pierce or all of them. Or even The Rock whose silky pink shirt was peeking out from underneath his serious black suit on Graham Norton. The styling gods are smiling on us, people. Smiling! Pink it is.

D'you know who else is smiling? Olivia Wilde. Do you know why? Because this week in The Internet Literally Goes Mad, it turns out that Olivia’s entire divorce from Jason Sudeikis can be narrowed down a single point in time where, as The Nanny Who Was Interviewed By The Daily Mail tells the world, Olivia Wilde made her now-infamous salad dressing. A salad dressing so ridiculously darn delicious that she chose to make it for Harry Styles to woo him. Jason got wind of the fact that the salad dressing she was whizzing up was not Family Salad Dressing but Lover’s Salad Dressing, and proceeded to lay in front of her car so that she couldn’t leave the home with said salad dressing. Because, yes, if legend is to be believed, such is the power of the dressing that Jason knew if Harry had just one drizzle, Olivia would be lost to him for good.

Now, I know what you’re all thinking…
A) Olivia must surely have been lost to him by this point anyway if he was lying in front of her car.
B) Harry must surely need more than a simple vinaigrette to give up every other person on Earth (me – and all of you - included).
C) This surely is the most dramatic story ever told about salad dressing.
D) Most importantly, what is this salad dressing and where to I find the recipe?!

All valid thoughts. Here’s the funny part though… Olivia has been under fire for months – from Harry Styles’ mega fan base (how dare she snag him?); from Jason Sudeikis’ fan base (how dare she leave Ted Lasso?); from Florence Pugh fan base (what did she do to her on set that made her miss the press tour for their film?); from all the haters of Don’t Worry Darling; from all the fans of Don’t Worry Darling; for being a female director in misogynistic Hollywood; for being a hot female director in misogynistic Hollywood; for being a hot female… The list is endless… And in all of the furore, she has kept totally silent. Just a good dress on the red carpet and a smile. No social media, no quotes, declarations, Harry Styles’ paparazzi shots. Nothing. Until the world went mad over vinegar and olive oil.

In what must have been a marvellously eye-rolly moment for Miss Wilde – she snapped a page out of a classic Nora Ephron book, which details another classic, the vinaigrette – and posted it to her Instagram. No words, no caption. Just a vinaigrette (for Harry Styles fans – its two tablespoons Grey Poupon mustard, 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar, whisked together with a slow drizzle of 6 tablespoons of olive oil). Go get your man, ladies!

As someone posted this week” Why does anyone care about celebrity gossip?” I just read a headline that said Jason Sudeikis laid down in front of Olivia Wilde’s car to stop her from bringing Harry Styles a salad with special dressing. I’m just supposed to scroll past that and go about my day???

If you care naught for celebrity gossip, then this is for you: Liz Truss, Britain’s PM, became the shortest serving PM in the country’s history. Ever. 44 days. And while the internet can be idiotic about things like salad dressing, it can also be seriously forking funny. 44 days is shorter than Kim Kardashian’s first marriage. Ekin Su lasted longer in the Love Island villa. Everyone has weighed in. Even brands like NBC and RyanAir.

And if you care naught for celebrity gossip and for memes, then this is for you… Some fashun… In a very deep and meaningful discussion about blazers yesterday – thank you Kim! – I can tell you that blazers for summer, are best worn as a single button, longer length with the sleeves pushed up. Miami Vice style – and thank you, as always, Don Johnson. If this is not your bag, you’ll be pleased to know that Summer Fash has gone one step further this year and re-introduced us to the sleeveless jacket. Its not a waistcoat, which is tight-fighting (but also suuuch a good lewk for the season) but a loose fitting, light-coloured-is-best, sleeveless jacket. Throw it over everything.

Mood Of The Week: The Pigeon

He’s (she’s?) now everywhere…