And Just like That I'm Wondering Why I'm Still Watching

Why are they all behaving like such imbeciles? Or is it just me? Is my menopausal rage rearing its ugly head over something as non-confrontational as streaming television?

As the punks would say: ‘Its not that deep’. Or is it? Oh. My. Forking. Nerves. I’m really trying to get on board with And Just Like That. Are you watching the new season of Sex And The City In Menopausal Form? I was 25 when SATC first aired. I know some of you are thinking ‘YOUTH!” Others of you are thinking “yikes, ancient” and the rest of you are thinking, “yeah, that sounds about right.” So many of you will agree that somewhere in between the Manolos and cosmopolitan cocktails and adventurous sex AND talking about all of the above, we all wanted some of that. And saw some of us in all of them.

So what if the southern tip of Africa hadn’t yet heard of a Manolo? So what if the only Cosmo we knew was a magazine that quizzed you on how to have a great shag. So what if we had to wait for Edgars to launch giant corsage brooches before we could buy one to pin to our lapel. So what if Carrie’s iconic nameplate necklace never actually made its way down south. The gloss and the hopes and dreams and, good lord, the fashion, translated off-screen, and we all felt part of that magic. And then we all grew up. And so did they.

And now they’re back. And it should be wonderful. But instead its just deeply, unbearably eye-rolly. And I really don’t want my eyeballs to be rolling, because we can’t be the same women who moan that there’s no representation for women-over-40 in the media and then a show lands and all we do is moan about how loathsome women-over-40 are in the media. But that’s where I find myself. Existential crisis, am I right?

Here’s my problem… And it’s not that the fashion is OTT and high luxury, although, good grief, it sure ain’t categorized under “cute styling tips we could all attempt to hack from Pat Fields”. It’s the fact that at 56 – because ‘tis the age they have pegged themselves in the show – they just do not have their shit together AT ALL. And again, who does entirely?! But you still kinda, sorta do. Gosh, it is hellish (disclaimer: I’m still watching though!)

Take The Children

The cliché of all clichés is that when Charlotte finally goes back to work, her two kids who have both been navigating NYC from one side to the other, with a side order of condoms, now get hysterical when she can’t drop off a fecking notebook they’ve forgotten at home. I mean seriously. Suck it up, buttercup. Even my two, who are not exactly from the school of hard knocks wouldn’t be hyperventilating into the work landline about a notebook.

And Aiden’s kid is the kinda of rude, snarky, 14-year-old misery that should have already send Carrie running for the hills, even in her vertiginous spindly heels. Surely at some point you’re telling the dude not to behave like such a rude prick or – or – if he's still smarting over your divorce, you don’t’ Facetime him from your new girlfriend’s bed. It’s not rocket science, Aiden. Why are these even plot lines? By the time you’ve reached your 40s and, by feck, your 50s, you kinda know a thing or two about life, teenagers and relationships without being a total knob.

Which Brings Me To Aiden…

… A grown man who refuses to cross the threshold of his old girlfriend’s apartment. If Carrie was ever a character who scrolled TikTok, she’d know by now that this would be something of a red flag. Again, seriously?! Aiden, you broke up, you got married, had three kids, got divorced, started and sold a huge business, have pots of cash, a country house, a belted coat and you’re back with your first love and yet, in all these decades of therapy and change and new love and kids, you’re triggered – another TikTok fave word – by your old girlfriend’s apartment. An apartment in which she still resides, btw. No worries, though, thinks Carrie! I will simply sell my East Village apartment and buy another one. Because that’s what you do when you are dating a manchild for all of a few short weeks. Another total knob move.

And On The Subject Of Manchild

What is up with Che? The most manchildy of all the characters this season? A chunking hot mess of spliffs, job loss, angst, anger, grubby clothes, cats, video games and toxic traits. Where is TikTok when Miranda was scrolling? They did her a dirty too. Che is another round of flashing red flags and bad vibes. They’re awfully bloody unlikable, but then Miranda is also a bit of a woes. In the strictest Afrikaans sense of the word. How did she go from ball-busting hot shot lawyer circa SATC to meek and mild, salad-shaking intern scared of the other mean girl interns? You’re twenty years older than them, for feck’s sake, Miranda. Of course you know how to do their job and everyone else’s! Own it, you knob!

So What About Jobs Then

Everyone had proper jobs on SATC. That was one if its great things – four babes working in NYC and making things happen for themselves. Not hustling as waitresses and wariters, but actual journalists, PRs, art gallerists and lawyers. So they all work-ish in AJLT except for the few new characters. The New Characters are always working. Lisa - Charlotte’s PTA bestie - is making a documentary. Of course she is. But she can never stay awake long enough to finish a single edit. Which is making her husband very cross. Or is it anxious? Can’t recall, nonetheless he’s Not Pleased. But she wears very expensive designer clothes. So it’s okay. Even when it isn’t. And she goes to sleep in all of her clanking diamond rings, which must be very uncomfortable and bad for any kind of water retention, but alas!

And Then The Clothes

When Charlotte goes back to work she invests in a wardrobe of LBDs (there should be a better collective noun for a Little Black Dress - will think) with Peter Pan collars. Why, why, why for the love of all that is fashionable for the over 35s, why? When did Peter Pan collars ever become A Thing. Except if you’re still in nursery school and Country Road has them sewn into their grey mélange winter pinnies.

Charlotte wears bodycon black with Peter Pan collars. Carrie wears whatever the fork is left on the rails in the wardrobe department. Miranda wears fun-sensible-but-fun-bisexual- serious-fun-lawyer-but-intern clothes and if she is dressing up for the evening, a lot of black kohl along her lashline. This is, in fact, the only indication that she has dressed in Evening Wear. And Lisa wears straight-off-the-runway ensembles that offer zero enthusiasm fashion-wise but make for brilliant blocks of colour and are not even on par with the actual weather outside. Which leaves Seema.

Thanks God For Seema

Seema Patel is the only character in this series who even vaguely behaves like someone who is over 45… She nails it. She’s great at her job and she knows it. She’s sexy AF and she knows it. She’s single and it doesn’t define her (because we’re not 15). She’s happy dating but it doesn’t define her (because we’re not 15). She is never without a perfect blow dry. She smokes, drinks, swears, does what she likes, tells her friends when they’re being knobs…

There’s a genius scene outside a hair salon with Carrie when she explains rather patiently why she wont be third wheeling Carrie and Aiden on her holiday to the Hamptons. Why are friends still like this at our age? Answer: they’re not. Seema Patel wears slinky satins and silks, not body con. She wears neutrals, not glitter or birds. Or top hats. Or PVC. Or polka dots. She is the reason to watch.

And Just Like That she saves it. But only just.